Singapore’s Courts Not Kangaroo At All:
Kangaroo
Posted on Wednesday, October 15,
2008
Topic:
Local News
by Pak Cham Kai
A kangaroo has come out to support the Gahmen’s contempt of court
prosecution of three men whose t-shirts suggested that Singapore’s
judiciary was less than impartial.
“I absolutely disagree that Singapore’s courts are kangaroo
courts,” said Mr. Joey K. Roo, a red kangaroo from Tasmania
currently on secondment to the Singapore Zoo, who was called as an
expert witness by the Attorney-General’s office.
The three accused, supporters of the Singapore Democratic Party,
had turned up at a court hearing involving their leader Dr Chee Don
Juan having to pay some more money to the Gahmen – and they wore
white t-shirts emblazoned with pictures of a kangaroo dressed in a
judge’s gown.
They have been charged with ‘scandalizing the judiciary’, an
offence which is about protecting public confidence in the
administration of justice, but which caselaw suggests should not be
used merely to stifle criticism of the courts. Britain has
apparently not seen any ‘scandalising’ prosecution since 1936 and
critics and academics in the Commonwealth have called for the
offence’s
abolition because it is archaic, vague, unpredictable and can
be undemocratic.
“Don’t know much about all that legal yabber, mate,” said Mr. Roo.
“The question is whether Singapore judges form a kangaroo court,
and it strikes me they aren’t.”
Mr. Roo said that if one were to examine each and every member of
the judiciary, from lowly magistrates up to the Court of Appeal,
“Strewth, mate! Some of ‘em may be furry, I’ll give yer that. But
they haven’t got a single tail, let a lone a pouch between ‘em.
They can’t be considered dinkum Aussie marsupials then, can
they?”
“One easy way to verify if your judges are of the genus
Macropus like meself would be to feed ‘em a heap of beans
and a few pints of Fourex,” Mr. Roo added. “It’s not a very
well-known fact, but kangaroos don’t fart. Go on, you bloody galah!
Go check it! It’s on bleedin’ Wikipedia. Under 'kangaroo' and
‘absence of digestive methane release.’ I’m pretty sure your judges
can let one rip. I mean, I passed a bunch of ‘em comin’ back from a
fish head curry lunch and it was bleedin’ obvious, the smelly
buggers.”
Surprisingly, however, Mr. Roo does not believe the three accused
men should be punished.
“Sure the judges in Singers aren’t kangaroos,” he explained. “But
how is it scandalizing anyone to compare ‘em to kangaroos, eh? I
mean, what’s wrong with us, mate? We’re cute, we look good in
logos, we’re tasty. They may have a really poor grasp of zoology
but having a mistaken opinion isn’t a crime. Let ‘em off!”
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
